When my daughter Aaliyah was stillborn, I left the hospital with her blanket, her footprints, and a heart so shattered I couldn’t imagine how to take another breath — let alone survive the days ahead.

There was no clear roadmap for grief. No guide for what to expect physically, emotionally, or spiritually. I didn’t even know what questions to ask — I just knew the silence was deafening and that I needed to do something to try to help myself. Honestly, I was scared about what could happen to me if I didn’t seek help or at least try to understand what was next in this new life.

This is why I started Aaliyah in Action — because no parent should have to go through the immediate aftermath of loss alone, unseen or misguided. Our care packages are what I wish someone had handed me in that moment: not just a gesture of comfort, but a tangible acknowledgment that my baby mattered. That I mattered and that others had not only experienced this loss (or similar) but knew how to help guide me down the grief journey ahead.

Grieving after pregnancy or infant loss is not just emotional — it’s physical, hormonal, spiritual, and logistical. But most systems treat it like a single moment instead of the lifelong journey that it is. Studies show that bereaved parents are at increased risk for postpartum depression, PTSD, and anxiety — particularly when their grief is unsupported or invalidated (Gold et al., 2016). We need to be equipping bereaved parents immediately with what they need to have a strong foundation for the grief journey ahead. 

What I needed was:

• Acknowledgment that my grief was real. This wasn’t just a pregnancy – this was the future of my daughter and our family.
• Gentle guidance on what to expect in the days and weeks ahead, especially in all the areas of life nobody immediately thinks of after a loss like this.
• Permission to care for myself, even in the smallest ways, as a way to start healing.
• Community — or even just proof that someone else had lived this. In those moments you feel like nobody else has experienced this and that you are the cause. 

If you’re here because you or someone you love is navigating baby loss, I see you. I hope you know you don’t have to walk this path alone.

Aaliyah’s name will always be said. And through Aaliyah in Action, so will your baby’s. If you’d like to request a package for yourself or a loved one, you can do so here.

XO,

Liz, Aaliyah’s Mom