The end of summer always brings a flood of first-day-of-school pictures — smiling kids with new backpacks, holding signs, heading into classrooms.

But if you’ve lost a baby, this season can be such a painful reminder. It’s about what should have been — the backpack we never picked out, the photo we never took, the milestone we never reached.

Maybe your baby would’ve been starting preschool, kindergarten, or high school this year. Whatever age they would’ve been, the ache of “missing” milestones can feel especially sharp in the fall.

It’s okay if you don’t feel excited right now. It’s okay if seeing all those pictures makes you feel sad, heavy, or angry. Your grief is valid.

When the back-to-school season feels overwhelming, I’ve found it helps to set boundaries with social media — stepping away when it gets too heavy and all consuming for me. I also light a candle for Aaliyah, which helps me honor her in the middle of all the noise. These little rituals remind me that our babies are always with us, even if the world doesn’t see it the same way we do.

Your grief is love, and that love is forever part of you and your baby.

XO,

Liz, Aaliyah’s Mom