This blog post was written by Erin Borchard, a Summer 2026 Aaliyah in Action Emerging Leader

When someone experiences the loss of a baby, it can be difficult to know how to help. You may want to take away their pain, but there are no words or actions that can make that kind of loss disappear. What you can do is help care for their basic needs when they may not have the energy or capacity to care for themselves.

One of the most overlooked effects of grief is how profoundly it impacts the body, including appetite, digestion, energy, and sleep.

Grief Affects More Than Emotions

After the loss of a baby, a grieving parent’s body is responding to intense physical and emotional stress. Stress hormones such as cortisol increase, which can affect digestion, hunger cues, and energy levels. At the same time, sleep is often disrupted, making it even harder to recognize hunger or find the motivation to prepare food.

This is why many bereaved parents experience:

• Little or no appetite
• Forgetting to eat
• Skipping meals
• Feeling overwhelmed by cooking
• Eating more or less than usual

These changes are a common response to grief, not a sign that they are doing something wrong.

Why Food Still Matters

While eating well may be the last thing on their mind, nourishment is still important.

Their body is healing while carrying an incredible emotional burden. Food provides energy, supports physical recovery, and helps meet the body’s basic needs during one of the most difficult times of their life.

The goal isn’t for them to eat a perfectly balanced diet. The goal is simply helping them eat something.

The Best Question Isn’t “Have You Eaten?”

Many people ask, “Have you eaten today?” While well intentioned, this can unintentionally create another decision or remind someone of something they already feel guilty about.

Instead, consider making nourishment easier.

You might:

• Drop off a ready-to-eat meal without expecting a visit.
• Bring easy breakfast foods like yogurt, fruit, oatmeal, or hard-boiled eggs.
• Stock their refrigerator with soups, casseroles, or other comfort foods.
• Leave easy snacks like trail mix, nuts, cheese, crackers, or cut vegetables.
• Bring smoothies or ingredients they can quickly blend.
• Include disposable containers so they don’t have to worry about dishes.

Small acts of care often mean more than elaborate gestures.

Comfort Food Is Still Nourishment

Many people worry that they should be encouraging healthy eating.

During profound grief, the priority isn’t perfection.

If macaroni and cheese, chicken noodle soup, toast, or a favorite takeout meal is what they are willing to eat, that is nourishment! Comfort foods can provide both physical energy and emotional familiarity during an incredibly difficult season.

As appetite slowly returns, balanced meals can become more realistic. Until then, eating something is often far better than eating nothing.

Make Decisions for Them, With Permission

Grief creates decision fatigue. Even choosing what to eat can feel overwhelming.

Rather than asking:

“What can I bring?”

Try saying:

“I’m dropping off soup and fresh bread this evening.”

or

“I’m at the grocery store. I’m bringing yogurt, fruit, and muffins unless there’s something else you’d prefer.”

Specific offers remove the burden of making yet another decision.

Remember That Sleep Matters Too

Grieving parents often struggle with sleep, and poor sleep can make eating feel even more difficult.

While food cannot fix grief or guarantee restful sleep, foods like yogurt, nuts, bananas, tart cherries, eggs, poultry, leafy greens, and healthy fats contain nutrients that support the body’s natural sleep cycle. Including these foods in meals or snacks can be one gentle way to support overall well-being.

Your Presence Matters More Than the Meal

The meals you bring will eventually be eaten, but your compassion will be remembered for years.

You don’t have to find the perfect words. You don’t have to solve their grief.

Sometimes love looks like leaving a warm meal on the porch, stocking the refrigerator, washing a few dishes, or quietly making sure they have food for tomorrow.

These simple acts tell a grieving parent, “You don’t have to carry everything alone.”

When someone has lost a baby, caring for their body is one way of caring for their heart. A meal may seem small, but in the midst of unimaginable grief, it can become a tangible reminder that they are loved, supported, and not forgotten.

This blog post was written by Erin Borchard, a Summer 2026 Aaliyah in Action Emerging Leader

Erin is a recent graduate from Concordia College- Moorhead, with a nutrition/dietetics degree. She is passionate about using the power of food and nourishment to help people going through one of life’s most difficult times, grief. Through this knowledge and guidance, she hopes to help loved ones of people going though grief to understand little ways they can help that might end up making a meaningful difference.